Joke Of The Day

Q: Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing?


A: She wanted to reach the high notes!

Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.

"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet."

"How come?" asked Lars.

"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."

Q: How do we know that hamburgers love classical music?


A: They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!

The first graders were attending their first music lesson. The teacher was trying to begin at the beginning. She drew a musical staff on the blackboard and asked a little girl to come up and write a note on it.

The little girl went to the blackboard, ooked thoughtful for a minute and wrote, "Dear Aunt Emma, just a short note to tell you I'm fine."

Q: What do you yell when you're about to throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A: See sharp or be flat.

Q: Why are pianists fingers like lightning?

A: They rarely strike the same place twice.

Q: Why couldn't Mozart find his piano teacher?


A: Because he is Haydn.

Wisdom of children Exam Answers


Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practised on an old spinster, which he kept in his attic.

Handel was half German, half Italian and half English.

Beethoven was so deaf he wrote loud music.

Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.

Most composers do not live until they are dead.

Musical food puns

Ravelioli.
Beef Ellington.
Robert Schumanicotti.
Chopin Suey.
Nat King Coleslaw.
Rite of Spring rolls.
Creme Boulez.
Puccini mushrooms.
Ives cream.
Chopin fried steak.
Grieg salad.
Bachwurst.
Salasa Verdi.
Orange Schubert.

A drummer goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches and reports, "I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?"
The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking."
"Fair enough," replied the drummer, "I'll come back when your sober."

Q: What do you yell when you're about to throw a piano down a mine shaft?


A: See sharp or be flat.

music: a complex organizations of sounds that is set down by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor, who is ignored by the musicians, the result of which is ignored by the audience.

Q: Why wasn't J.S. Bach at the classical concert?


A: Because he was Baroque.

great joke

"When she started to play, Steinway himself came down and rubbed his name off the piano."
~Bob Hope on comedian Phyliss Diller

Q: What kind of phone can make music?


A: A saxophone!

Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?


A: A natural major.

Q: Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

A: In the piano.

A pianist and singer are rehearsing 'Autumn Leaves' for a concert and the pianist says, 'OK. We will start in G minor and then on the third bar, modulate to B major and go into 5/4. When you get to the bridge, modulate back down to F# minor and alternate a 4/4 bar with a 7/4 bar. On the last A section go into double time and slowly modulate back to G minor.'

The singer answers, 'Crikey, I don't think I can remember all of that.'
The pianist replies, 'Well, that's what you did last time.'

All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes.

Mary Had A Little Lamb
3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or
3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321

Jingle Bells
333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621

Frere Jacques
1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111

Olympic Fanfare
3-9-91231, 2222-32112312, 3-9-91231, 2222-32112321

The Butterfly Song
963, 23621, […]

Man eating an Audio CD, "I have strange tastes in music".

Q: Why is a violinist's fingers like lightening?


A: They never strike the same place twice!

Q: Why was the piano laughing?

A: Because someone was tickling its ivories.

Q: Why couldn't Mozart find his piano teacher?

A: He was Haydn!

A bunch of singer-songwriters were sitting around a bar in Nashville. One of them says 'I keep hearing about these guys Bach, Beethoven and Mozart. Anybody here heard of them?'
'Yeah' replies one of the songwriters 'I've heard of 'em ...but I wouldn't worry too much, all they ever did was instrumentals'