Joke Of The Day

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?


A: A flat minor.

Q. What do you call a fish musician?


A. A piano tuna.

A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. "This one's $5,000 and the other is $10,000." the clerk said.

"Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?"

"This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote."

"And the other?" said the customer.

"This one can sing Wagner's entire Ring cycle. There's another one in the back room for $30,000."

"Holy moly! What does that one do?"

"Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him 'Maestro'."

The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd better not try to sing.

My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?


A: A Chopin Liszt.

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"





Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"

The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch. "Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner."

The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."

The man replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbors did."

Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?


A: Bach in the saddle again.

Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?



A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?


A: Two oboists playing in perfect unison!

Once there was a violist who was so out of tune that his section noticed!

The first graders were attending their first music lesson. The teacher was trying to begin at the beginning. She drew a musical staff on the blackboard and asked a little girl to come up and write a note on it.

The little girl went to the blackboard, ooked thoughtful for a minute and wrote, "Dear Aunt Emma, just a short note to tell you I'm fine."

Haydn's Chopin Liszt at Vivaldi's:


Rossini and cheese
Bern-n-stein remover
Satie mushrooms
batteries (Purcell)
BeethOVEN cleaner
Hummel microwave meals
orange Schubert
TchaiCOUGHsky drops
marshMahlers
Honey-nut Berlioz
Cui-tips
Chef Boyardee Raveli
sour cream and Ives
Strauss (straws)
chocolate Webers (wafers)
Del Monteverdi corn
Mozart-rella cheese
Bach of serial (opera)
new door Handel
Golden Brahms
Clemen-TEA
Little Debussy snack cakes
Oscar Meyerbeer bologna

Q: What's the range of a tuba?



A: About twenty yards if you have a good arm.

Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?



A: Root position cords.

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?


A: With a tuba glue.

Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?


A: A natural major.

Wisdom Of Children



Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practised on an old spinster, which he kept in his attic.

Handel was half German, half Italian and half English.

Beethoven was so deaf he wrote loud music.

Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.

Most composers do not live until they are dead.

Q - What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?


A - Bach in the saddle again.

Q: Why did they arrest the musician?


A: He got into treble.

While an orchestra was playing Tschaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet overture, an elderly man in the audience wept and wept.
'You must be an incurable romantic' said the woman seated next to him.
'No,' he said, 'I'm a musician.'

Q: Whats musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer?


A: A barrel organ.

Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.

Q: What is the definition of a major second?



A: Two baroque bassoonists playing in unison.

Q: Why did the soprano spend the night on the porch?

A: She lost the key.